Sharing is Caring

I just installed μtorrent and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna stick with it. Azureus was awesome but it just hogs too much memory, right now μtorrent is taking up about 20 times less memory than Azureus does when it idles. before totally moving on though I want to immortalize my share ratio on the internet.

school sucks

I am not happy. I don't like devry and I don't like going there. so far the professors I've seen have not met my standards and their overall process is a pain in the ass. I really wish that I would have gone with ITT tech, I liked the environment much more. Even the students at devry just seem stupid. I want to drop out and go to ITT tech but my mom won't let me b/c it is more money and now I've already wasted time at devry. I hate it and I just don't to go there anymore :(

and it all comes crashing down

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even know what the point is. it seems to me that diana and I just hurt each other more often than we're happy and I just don't know if this is going to work. I've never thought that I was good enough for her but I tried to be the person she deserved, maybe I just don't have that in me. I honestly can't imagine my life without her and when I do I just start crying. I'm so sick of this, I'm sick of feeling the way I do, thinking the way I do. I'm sick of everything. why can't I just be happy and have a normal life like everyone else?

Can't Sleep :(

blah

lol Drugs

So I just spent the last couple hours with my former best friend and this will not be a night I forget. that intro sounds like this would be a blog about an awesome night, but it was anything but. it started out with kara texting me telling me about how they're stuck at a park. of course I knew that they were pretty much last ditch to be trying to come over here, but I was bored and I thought company couldn't be that bad. it made me really sad to see the way ryan is now, I remember him the way he was when I first met him and looking at what he is now is just so different. him and his friend just kept repeating the same stories over and over again about how awesome drugs are and blah blah blah. it was sooo pathetic and so annoying! it almost want to take ryan and give him a lotro account and not let him leave, at least game addicted ryan might have done something with his life. all and all my 4th has been pretty crappy so far, I can't wait to go to diana's tomorrow, it should be fun :)